JBFCS: Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs

Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs of the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services

October 2009

By Rabbi Simkha Y. Weintraub, LCSW

Forgiving with the Whole Person: Some Thoughts on a Healing Approach to T’Shuvah

The powerful season of the Jewish year that stretches from the month before Rosh Hashanah through the Ten Days of Repentance and Yom Kippur, and even into the holiday of Sukkot is a period of renewal, reconciliation, recovery and return known at T’Shuvah. Through self-examination, special liturgy, interpersonal encounters and more, Jews have set aside this time to intensify the healing process of improving ourselves, our communities, and our world. Forgiveness is a central component of that process. Below is an excerpt from the National Center for Jewish Healing’s publication, The Outstretched Arm, dealing with Forgiveness. In the full text, each of the below quotes are further explored. For the full text, write to us at

Forgiveness. We know we’re supposed to "do" it. We even appreciate that as Jews — as people — we need and want forgiveness. But somehow the act of forgiveness may seem distant or inaccessible, alien or awkward. At times, it’s as simple as a heartfelt conversation, but all too often we fall into the chasm between valuing, feeling, and believing in forgiveness — and actually implementing or actualizing that commitment.

Perhaps what we all need is not so much to have forgiveness be a part of us, as to have ourselves become a part of forgiveness. Towards that end, here are seven suggestions of ways to approach and reinforce one’s own forgiveness project. For any given situation or relationship, one or another may or may not be appropriate. They are meant, quite literally, to "flesh out" the traditional undertaking and hopefully can be used as pointers or possibilities for enhancing this season of T’Shuvah.

Forgiveness through Speech
There is nothing in the world better for the purification of the soul than the curbing of idle talk.
— S.Y. Agnon, Days of Awe, 1948, page 20

Forgiveness with Touch
Let not your hand be stretched out to take, and closed at the time of giving back.
— Apocrypha Ben Sira 4:31

Forgiveness with the Face
The look explains the word.
— Moshe ben Ezra, Shirat Yisrael, 12th Century

Forgiveness through Bodily Posture/Movement
Respect your own body as the receptable, messenger, and instrument of the spirit.
— R. Samson Raphael Hirsch, Nineteen letters, 1836, #11, page 112

Forgiveness through Listening
Man was endowed with two ears and one tongue, that he may listen more than speak.
— Hasdai, Baen Hamelekh veNehazir, ca. 1230, chapter 26

Forgiveness through Writing
Letters are like bodies, and their meanings like souls.
— Abraham Ibn Ezra, Yesod Mora, 1158

Forgiveness through Music
There are places that open only to music.
— Tikkunei Zohar, 13th century, chapter 11, page 266

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

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