JBFCS: Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs

Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs of the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services

March 2010

Hesed: Stepping into Freedom through Friendship

The below selection is from our resource, Passover: Out of the Narrow Straits. This short collection addresses the themes of Passover and illness, divorce, loss, addiction, caregiving, leadership, and the economic crisis. Compiled a year ago by our staff, we invite you to download this resource for your individual use or with your communities.

We all have emotional abilities and vulnerabilities. Some of us live with a profound and persistent emotional disability, in which we wrestle with painful states of mind that drain our mental resources and make it difficult, if not impossible, to find balance and equanimity. Our social and communal isolation intensifies our suffering and feelings of helplessness. In these narrow straits we know best the plagues of darkness — we struggle to see and been seen with empathy, concern and connection.

So where do we find the outstretched arm of G-d that our Pesach Haggadah describes as that which lifts us out of this narrow place, this Mitzryam (narrow place)? In many places... this describes just one.

The offering of Hesed — expansive loving-kindness, openness, the forward flow through friendship, giving beyond one’s everyday level — can bring liberation and transformation. I found the outstretched arm of G-d through volunteering in a program that matches those struggling with emotional disability with a friend who visits once a week. For three years, I have been visiting my friend; two years ago he thanked me for my friendship. It is hard to put words on this experience. However, I know this relationship has given me something beyond words. Perhaps it is that feeling that comes from stretching oneself and discovering you have really made a significant difference for another human being.

We are told that we are made b’tzelem elokim, “in the image of G-d.” In my showing up for another, beyond my usual capacity, I manifest the transformational power of the outstretched arm — to bring myself and another from the narrows to a wide-open place. Liberation might take forty days or years, but the reward is remarkable nonetheless.

These "Spirituality Notes" are excerpts from our monthly E-newsletter. Articles are © JBFCS Rita J. Kaplan Jewish Connections Programs and may be reprinted free of charge as long as this credit line is included.

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